The Dipper Diaries
by ClementineSparkle
Summary: You know Dipper pretty well by He's almost like a friend to you, right? But chances are, you didn't know he had a diary, recorded with all of his feelings, adventures and mysteries, now did you? And what kind of person doesn't like a chance to read about someone's secret and very personal life? I mean, you do want to know his secrets, right?
1. November 23

November 23

Dear, Diary,

I woke up to Mabel hitting me with her pink kitty cat pillow today. Surprisingly, she can hit pretty hard. For a girl.

At first, I ignored her, thinking that would work. I should have known better. After all, Mabel doesn't give up so easily.

"Dipper! Wake! Up!" she said, hitting me with every word. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and looked up at her.

"What do you want?" I said, irritated. Don't get me wrong, I love Mabel. But sometimes, well, a lot of times, she's really obnoxious and annoying.

"Dipper, don't you know what day it is?" she asked, shocked. She wasn't hitting me anymore. That was good.

"No," I said, pulling the covers over my head. Of course, Mabel stripped them off and opened the window, blinding me.

"Aaaaargh!" I moaned, shielding my face. I hated it when she did that. It was like your eyes were on fire.

"Dipper, it's November 23!" she said.

Oh god. November 23?! No.

"What?! Why?!" I asked, then noticing how stupid that question was.

"I don't know, Dipper! Because it just is!" she said like I was stupid. Yeah, I deserved that.

So you're probably wondering what November 23 is. It's just another ordinary day, right?

Well maybe to you, but for Mabel and I, November 23 has a lot more to it. It's the day Gruncle Stan's mother comes to town for Thanksgiving.

You might have noticed that we don't like his mother.

Well obviously! Otherwise we wouldn't have been freaking out that much.

I quickly hopped out of bed, throwing the covers back. I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth, Mabel looking at me in confusion. I threw on a pair of shorts and my red t- shirt. I grabbed my hat, slipped on my vest, and stepped into my shoes.

"Okay," I said, walking down the stairs with Mabel. "We have a lot of work to do today. Anything that's ours needs to be thrown in the closet, hidden until she leaves. We need vacume all of Sues' chip crums, wash the dishes, turn all the TV channels to the soap operas-"

"Kids," said a de-stressed Gruncle Stan as we entered the kitchen, "You both know what day it is, right?' he asked. It was in that tone that said if we didn't know, he was going to get angry. Like, insanely angry.

"Yes, Gruncle Stan," we both said.

"Good," he said, a look of relief in his eyes. "She's going to be here in twenty minutes, so... I don't know get to work."

"We're on it!" said Mabel, saluting him. She rushed back upstairs, doing who knows what. We both turned to watch her leave.

"Dipper," said Gruncle Stan, "I have a special job for you," he said in his business tone.

Great. Every time Stan had a "special" job for me, it actually was something dreadful and not so fun to do.

"Gruncle Stan," I started, "How come I always have to do the hard things? Why not make Mabel do it for a change?"

"Because Mabel is a _girl_. She's too soft." There was a pause.

"Look, kid, when I make you do these things, it's because I don't want you to be... well, like your sister. I want you to be a man. I make you do these things because I care about you."

I looked up at him.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah."

I smiled. So he really did like me...

"Anyway," he said, changing the subject, "About that special job. I want you to bake the pie."

A brick fell down my stomach. How in the world was that manly?

"You want me to-"

"Yes! Now do it!"

"But Gruncle Stan, I don't-"

"Here's the instructions," he said, handing me a pamphlet with a recipe for coconut cream pie. I held it in my hand, the picture of the pie mocking me.

"You know who would _really_ like to do this? Mabel! She loves baking."

"Sorry," he said, "but Mabel also likes to clean things for fun, which means if she was baking that pie, she wouldn't be cleaning everything I was supposed to. So good luck! And remember, Mom goes crazy without her pie, so no pressure!"

He walked out laughing, and I just stood there, stunned. Was this seriously happening?!

Figuring I should just get started, I went to the pantry and got out all the ingredients. I sighed, wishing I could be doing something else. Hopefully nobody saw me doing this.

As I stood on my tip toes to reach for the sugar, my hand hit something gnarly and hard. Puzzled, but also curious, and grabbed it to see what it was.

Before me I held a key. A golden, rusted key. I examined it, wondering if maybe it went to something. Gruncle Stan had obviously wanted it hidden, so I held onto it. I dropped it into my pocket, and I continued baking.

* * *

"Stanford!" said Mrs. Pines, walking into the house and dropping her luggage. She looked at him skeptically. "Oh... you really put on some weight there, didn't you?"

"Well enough about me!" said Stan, walking to me and Mabel. "Come see the kids!"

Mrs. Pines bent down to reach our height.

"Ah, Mabel and Skipper! How lovely to see you two again!" She said, ruffling our hair. "Oh, Stan, they're so adorable!" she cooed.

"Actually, my name is-"

"Lets go eat some pie!" Stan interrupted me. He stopped me on the way to the kitchen.

"Hey, for the rest of the week, you're Skipper, got it? The lady doesn't like to be corrected."

"Got it," I moaned.

I sat down to my slice of pie. If you asked me, I thought I did a wonderful job. I dug my fork into the soft white cream, and I took a heaping bite.

Suddenly, the sound of someone gagging filled the room.

"WHO in the world made this disgusting thing?!" said Mrs. Pines, throwing down her fork. I didn't dare say I did it.

"Dipper. It was Dipper!" said Stan pointing fingers.

"I actually think it's good," said Mabel, her face covered in whipped cream and her pie completely gone.

"Yeah, me too!" I said, taking another bite to annoy her.

"I forgot I didn't like this one," she said, eyeing me. Great.

* * *

Well, that was pretty much my whole day. I could tell you the part about Pacifica deciding to come over to the Mystery Shack, or the part where Mrs. Pines and me had a mini golf battle, but I don't think it's worth mentioning. Until next time!

-Dipper

* * *

**So did you guys like that? I want to know if I should continue. Tell me what you think! Make my day and post a review! I love you guys! 3 **


	2. November 24

November 24

Dear Diary,

Today was... something else, definitely.

Mabel decided she was going to go over to Candy and Grenda's house, so that left Great Grandma Pines all for me. Yay.

"Oh, we're going to have so much fun, Skipper!" she exclaimed, pinching my cheeks. "Now that your sister Mabel is gone, you get me all to yourself! Aren't you excited?"

"I sure am!" I lied. To be honest, I was afraid of what was going to happen next. Pinching my cheeks was already bad enough. I sighed.

"Yo, Dipper! I need you!" called Stan from the living room. I felt relief take me over. Finally, something else to do besides sit in the kitchen with Grandma Pines!

I ran to the living room anxiously to find Gruncle Stan sitting on the couch, sipping a diet root beer.

"You needed me?"

"Yeah. Change the channel for me, will 'ya?"

My heart sunk. That was it? The first time I actually _want_ one of his chores I don't get one?

"Sure," I said with a frown. I picked up the remote and clicked it to the next channel.

"Thanks," he said.

Well, that was that. I walked back to Grandma Pines, dragging me feet. I wished Mabel was here more than ever.

"Oh, you're back, Skipper! I just though of something we could do!"

"And what would that be?" I asked, not wanting to know.

She kicked off her slippers and put her feet out.

"Grandma and grandson foot massage time!"

I was paralyzed. WHAT?!

I looked behind me, wanting to back away. I knew Stan wouldn't want me to, and if I did, I'd probably upset her. So I readied myself for the worst thirty minutes of my day.

* * *

"Hey, kiddo," said Wendy from behind the Mystery Shack check out counter. I went to go sit on the stool by her, and she set her magazine down.

"Hey," I said, not looking at her, which was how you knew when I was really upset. I looked at her every chance I could get.

"What's got you down?"

I took a deep breath.

"It's my stupid great grandma."

"Mrs. Pines?"

"Yeah."

"What's so bad about her?"

I made a list of all the things I could have told her, realizing that if I said everything on that list, I'd be talking for an hour.

"It's just... she treats me like a baby. And her idea of fun is me rubbing her feet."

Wendy giggled, then pat me on the back.

"Look," she began, "My grandma's been making me do that for years. It's nothing to get upset over. It's just... normal, I guess."

I thought about that. It still didn't make it any more fun, normal or not. I sighed as I heard the bell on the door ring, letting us know someone was entering.

Boots clacking, Pacifica Northwest walked in, arms crossed. She didn't look too happy... although she always looked like that.

She walked toward me, approaching the check out counter.

"Hey," said Wendy, "How can I help you?" she asked tiredly.

"I need him," she demanded, pointing at me.

Me? Out of all people?

"What do you want, Pacifica?" I asked, sounding annoyed. I was actually quite curious though.

"We need to talk." She pulled me by the arm, dragging me off my stool. I followed her, looking back at Wendy. She had her eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

"Where are we going?"

"Outside."

I followed her out through the door. She took me to a bench where we both sat. It was dark out now, and the clouds were starting to blend into the sky, turning to dark.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked a little uneasy. I felt stiff around her, like I couldn't move. Pacifica always made you feel like you were nothing. Like you were the most stupid person in existence. I hated her.

"You know that book you have with the hand on it and the 3 and everything?"

"No..."

"Don't lie to me, Dipper! I know you have it. Now hand it over," she demanded, holding her hand out.

"Why should I give it to you?" I said, stifling a laugh.

"Because it's mine, and you stole it. Stole it, Dipper!"

"Whoa. I didn't steal anything. I found it in a tree."

"Yeah! That's where I would hide it! Now give it to me!"

I couldn't give her the book. I needed it. I used it so many times to solve mysteries, and I would be so lost without it. I had no clue what to do. So I gave it up.

"Okay," I muttered. "I don't have it with me. I'll have to get it in my room."

"Then go get it. I'll be waiting here."

I dashed upstairs, a sinking feeling in my stomach. This was horrible! How was I supposed to solve mysteries now?!

I hesitantly reached under my bed, grabbing the book. I took one last good look at it. I took in the feeling I had when it was in my hands.

"Goodbye," I said depressed.

When Pacifica finally had it in her hands, her face lit up.

"Thank you so much!" she said, running up to me and giving me a hug. "I'm so glad that you found it. I mean, anyone else could have, and I'm so lucky the one who found it also loves mysteries. Anyone else could have thrown it away or sold it..."

Was I supposed to hug her back? I sure didn't want to. But to be polite I wrapped my arms around her.

After a few awkward moments, she finally let go of me. I felt so relieved. We sat back onto the bench. I didn't know why she just didn't go home. This was getting irritating.

"So, you like mysteries too?" I asked, trying to make conversation. Not exactly my strongest point.

"Yeah," she said. Surprisingly, she didn't sound like she was going to kill me anymore. I guess she had really just wanted that book. "I love mysteries. But I couldn't solve them for a while because my book was missing."

"Wow," I said. I was starting to give in. "I've never met someone who likes solving mysteries before."

"Me neither until now."

There was silence. I laughed awkwardly, running my hand through my hair.

"Maybe we could solve them together," she suggested, shrugging her shoulders. It wasn't a bad idea. And then I remembered. Mabel. She would hate me forever if I hung out with Pacifica.

"Sorry," I said, "but I don't think so."

"Why not?" she asked with a frown.

"Because..." I took a deep breath, and then sighed. "Look, Pacifica, I actually don't think you're that bad. But... you see, Mabel's not exactly too fond of you. And it would really upset her if I hung out with you."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

More silence.

"We don't have to tell anyone."

I thought about that. It actually might work. But I would have to lie a lot about where I was. And if I wanted to be famous for solving a really big mystery, I was going to do it with none other than Mabel.

"Sorry. No."

"Fine then, Dipper. Let your sister control your life. I don't care!"

And with that, she got up and walked away.

Surprisingly, that stung. A lot. I wasn't letting Mabel control my life. Was I?

I walked back into the shack, noticing my heart skipped a beat and butterflies danced in my stomach. It was almost exactly like the feeling I got when I thought about Wendy...

-Dipper


	3. November 25

November 25

Dear Diary,

Thank god today was Thanksgiving. If I had to stand one more day with Great Grandma Pines, I was going to go to take the turkey carving knife and stab that lady.

Metaphorically of course.

"Pass the mashed potatoes!" said Mabel, pushing her plate forward.

"I'll have some too," I said, doing the same. Grandma Pines lazily scooped a spoonful of mashed potatoes and plopped it on our plates, spilling the potatoes all over the table.

"No problem," said Gruncle Stan, obviously trying to hide the fact that she was annoying the heck out of him. "Mabel, be a dear and clean that up, will you?"

"You got it!" she exclaimed, running to the kitchen counter to get a rag.

The three of us sat their awkwardly. Usually we would be laughing and Stan would tell us some funny stories. But everything was different with Grandma Pines around. She didn't like laughter. She didn't like funny stories. She liked her soap operas, and that was basically it.

Mabel slapped a wet rag onto the table, disrupting everyone. I flinched as the rag came near me. She was holding it so close to my face I was afraid of getting wet mashed potato goo on me.

"Done!" she said, hopping back into her seat. "Grandma, can you tell us about when Gruncle Stan was a kid?" she asked. Yes. This ought to be fun.

"No, no, let the poor woman eat-" Stan started, but Great Grandma Pines seemed to be as excited to tell the story as we were to hear it.

"Oh, he was such a cute little thing! But awfully chubby. Look, I have a picture of him in my wallet when he was just three weeks old," she said, reaching into her pocket and opening up her wallet for us to see. Stan covered his face with his hands, hiding in horror.

"Aww, look how small he was!" gushed Mabel with wide eyes. I stifled a laugh, knowing how hard this was for Stan. I just ended up bursting out with laughter though. I mean, it was nearly impossible to hold it in.

"I'm gonna get you kids back," Gruncle Stan said. Unfortunately, he sounded 100 percent serious. But for now, we would just eat our dinner and have fun... except for him.

* * *

November 26

Dear Diary,

Yeah, I know that last entry was a little short. But that's only because there really wasn't much to that day. But today was incredible.

"Take care, Ma!" shouted Gruncle Stan as Grandma got into her taxi. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen- her leaving. It was amazing. I took a sigh of relief as the car drove away. No more foot massages, no more soap operas, no more pinching my cheeks... it was like heaven.

"I'm going to miss her," whined Mabel. Stan and I looked at each her sad face, wondering how in the world anybody could miss a person like _that. _Then again, Mabel was the overly optimistic type.

"What do you say we celebrate?" said stan, crossing his arms.

"Celebrate what?" I asked, already knowing the answer. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page before I blurted out, "Lets celebrate Stan's stupid mother leaving!" in case Stan would get offended.

"My mother finally leaving of course!"

"What? Why?" exclaimed Mabel, obviously very upset by this. "She's your _mother_!"

"She sure is..." Stan said, although I think that was supposed to be said as a side comment or something.

"I'll go get Wendy and Soos. You two do whatever it is you guys do," I said, walking away to the Mystery Shack.

As soon as I entered, I saw Wendy reading her magazine and Soos sweeping up some glass he probably broke. It was typical.

When they saw me, they looked up.

"Hey, dude," said Soos, waving.

"Sup," said Wendy.

"Hey. Um, you guys want to come celebrate the fact that Stan's mother is gone?" I asked uneasy. Asking Soos was no problem. But asking Wendy was one of the hardest things in the world.

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"Great! I mean, yeah, come on in," I said stiffly, opening the door where I came from.

As we walked I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to find Wendy, leaning in close to me.

"Hey," she whispered, "What happened with you and Pacifica yesterday?"

Oh great. Pacifica. I had been trying not to think about her all day. So far it had gone good, until now.

"None of your business," I said a little bit rudely. I instantly felt bad.

"Oh come on, Dipper! Spill."

"Look, could we talk about this somewhere else?"

I had no idea why I said that. It didn't matter where we were. Whether it was in front of Soos or not, I still wouldn't want to talk about it at all.

"Yeah," she said. "Lets go back into the Mystery Shack. We can lock the doors so no customers come in."

My annoyance faded away. Me and Wendy? Alone? I wouldn't miss it for a worldwide zombie attack.

"Okay," I said anxiously.

We locked the doors just like she said. She sat down at the cash register and motioned for me to take a seat next to her on the stool.

"Now tell me. What happened?"

I didn't want to talk about it. I really didn't. But whatever gave us more alone time together, I was all for it.

"She took my book," I muttered under my breath.

"She took your what?"

"My book. You know, the one with the three on it and the hand and everything."

"Oh. Why'd she take it?"

"Because it was hers, and she wanted it back."

I rested my head in my hand and looked away from her. I took a deep breath filled with air.

"Are you not telling me something?" she asked. Why was I so obvious?!

"No," I lied. I knew it was no use. Wendy wasn't stupid.

"Yes you are. There's more to the story. What happened besides her taking your book?"

I gave her a moan. It was the best I could do.

"Dipper, just tell me. You can tell me _anything."_

__I looked at her.

"Anything?"

"Yes. Now tell me!"

I took a deep breath.

"It's just... I don't know."

Wendy looked irritated.

"Dipper, I don't have all day. So you better just tell me."

"I think I like her, okay?!"

Wait- did I really just say that? I thought I was going to stall for at least another ten minutes. Oh my god, I really just said that.

I had been lying to myself, trying to get myself to only focus on Wendy. I had been constantly telling myself I felt nothing for Pacifica. I guess sometimes my mouth thinks before my brain.

"You... like her?"

Great. Now Wendy knew. And she was probably going to hate me now.

"I don't want to, okay? But I do," I said, looking down. I felt ashamed.

"No! Don't feel bad. It's okay..."

"No. It's not, and I know what you're thinking. You hate Pacifica. I thought I did too."

"It's just..."

"How can I like such a snob?"

"Well... yeah, I guess."

"I couldn't tell you. Well, actually..."

"What? And please don't take forever to tell me this time."

"She likes mysteries. She solves them."

"Ohhhhh."

"So are you happy now? I finally told you."

"Yup. Now what do you say we go party?"

"Lets do it!"

* * *

I love Wendy. She's so nice and caring. And you know what? It felt really good to get that Pacifica stuff off my back. I think saying it out loud really made a difference. But for now, I'm not going to date her or anything or ask her out. I'll just be a guy with an unwanted crush. And about that key I found in the cabinet... something weird is on it. Like a symbol or something. It's a half sun and half moon type thingy. I'm not sure what it stands for. I'll have to look in my... that's right. I can't look in my book, because Pacifica has it. God I hate her.

OK I'm sorry. I'm like having mixed emotions for her. It's the weirdest thing. Ugh! Why can't I just like someone normal?!

-Dipper


	4. Important author's note READ

**Ok, so a lot of you have been saying I'm "sexist" and "rude about Mabel." I'm not naming names. You guys know who you are.**

**Guys, I'm not sexist, okay? That part where gruncle Stan says Mabel is soft and she doesn't have to do the dirty work is because she's a girl was not what you think. I was just trying to show how Gruncle Stan cares about Dipper and wants him to be a man. I had no intentions of being sexist. **

**And you know what? I actually remember Gruncle Stan saying something exactly like that on the real show, so...**

**If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. You're being rude. Yeah, that may have come off a little bit sexist, but don't make things seem bigger than they have to. That's trivial stuff right there.**

**If you really are concerned, don't be a spaz about it and post like three comments all about how I'm so sexist, okay? That was stupid, and you know it.**

**I didn't think it would offend you guys. I'm a girl, and I'm not offended by it. And I was just trying to say something that Gruncle Stan would say. And yes, he probably would have said something like that.**

**I want you all to know that really was not sexist. And I'm sorry if I offended anyone.**

**~Clementine**


End file.
